Chronicles of Maria

I know no one to talk to. Typing this as tears fall profusely. Confined in corners where no one can see. Lord, please help me. Your dear child is in pain  Angry. Depressed. Unhappy. So mad. I want to just shout and throw everything I see to get this off of me. But I can't. All I can do is to cry in silence. One day, when I can, I will tell you everything. For now, thank you, I got you.

Well, not that kind of night out. LOL. Not home tonight due to work. This momma had to stay overnight at work - because duty calls. 😅 This is one of those days where bubba had to sleep with his dada only. Last time this happened was when I was deployed in Abra for election duties. I was away for three days I think. I don't want to be away from bubba, given a choice. I love how he looks for me in the middle of the night even when dada was just beside him. Despite the uncomfortable sleeping position when he says "yakap", I'd keep up with it just to let him sleep in my arms or in my stomach. It's been over two years of interrupted sleep. Like, I don't remember having to sleep through the night anymore. That even when bubba sleeps through the night not asking for milk, I'd still be up checking on him wondering why he hasn't asked for milk. Those days when he's just so tired from playing and he sleeps soundly, momma still checks on him, makes sure he&#

It's been over two years since I posted here. My child just turned two, seven days ago. It's 3:07AM now, Bubba's asleep. He just had milk, reason why I couldn't put myself to sleep. This happens sometimes. It'll take me an hour before I'd go back to another sweet slumber. So then I remembered last night, why'd I always yell at Dada. I'm so short tempered when I talk to him. He irritates me easily. I could snap at him in an instant. This happens to bubba as well sometimes. Don't tell me this is still postpartum? Poor dada and bubba. Momma becomes beast. Rouge.  So how do I control this temper? Guess I gotta find out. Till here. -Angry Mom.

I was tryin to get pregnant for over two years. Frustration, depression, envy, pressure, disappointment, and anxiety. I felt all those during the process. I wasn't getting any younger and i felt the need to bear a child as soon as possible. Getting married wasn't even my priority anymore. I had to have a child, I told myself.  One day, I decided to lift it all up to Him. I fervently prayed that in His time, it may happen.  My colleagues were getting pregnant one by one. Someone who's been trying for more than five years of marriage, another who's bearing their second child after a year in between, someone younger than me by two years whom I thought has no plans of having a baby yet got pregnant, and another who's also having her second child. Who's left out? Me. But you know what, it never affected me coz I learned to trust His timing. They'd often tease me and say, "sana ikaw na ang next". I tell them, "darating din ako dyan sa ta

It was in the morning of November 16, 2019 when finally and unexpectedly, God answered our prayers.  I clearly remember that was a Saturday. It was our day off from work. No alarm clocks but my bladder told me to get up already. At that time, my period was eight days delayed but it never crossed my mind that I could be pregnant. I get my period regularly so I thought maybe it just got moved or delayed. No expectations of whatever. Few days before that, we went to Watson's to buy some cough medicine and then out of nowhere, I picked up two pregnancy kits to go with the medicine upon paying at the counter. I was thinking, maybe for future use but not for that very day. So going back, that morning when I went to relieve myself, was about to sit when I went back and grabbed a pack of that PT kit. I did what was written in the instruction, again, no expectations, or more like expecting a single line like what normally shows whenever I use PT kit. And to my surprise, in just few seconds,

Hola! I'm Maria! A call-center agent turned public servant and now, a soon-to-be-mom! In this blog, I will try to share me experiences being an expectant mother. xoxo KC